Recently, I decided to stop wearing my “I Am Second” wristband. I’ve worn it pretty consistently over the past two years. It’s an important statement, an ice breaker, a conversation starter, and a personal reminder to me. This is what my life is about. This is what confirms meaning and purpose for me. This is why I have the hope that is within me. But, I decided that it was time for me to put that to rest.
Being a Christian calls for boldness. I take pride in the fact that it’s what I’m most recognized for in the social circles I’m a part of. It’s something I take to heart when it’s not obviously seen in me. I’m not sure how much I show it, but it’s really troublesome to me to have more than one encounter with someone and to have them walk away without realizing that I’m a Christian. My walk, my walk, my dress, my interests, my friends, my hobbies, my everything should be a constant declaration of that fact at all times. That’s why I decided to stop wearing the wristband.
I don’t want to consciously or sub to rely on things like that to convey what my life is about. I crave that bold as a lion bravery (Proverbs 28:1) we’re called to have. That’s the kind of bravery that Christians go to the cross for still even to this day. I’ve seen all manner of execution from hanging, to beheading, to drowning, to being set ablaze. Still, those Christians died with the hope that Christ will honor all of His promises to us. I have to look myself in the mirror everyday and ask the question “Have you counted the cost?”
Sure, my faith has cost me some friends. There are some people that don’t like what I have to say about popular opinion on a number of issues. I’ve had people I love say some terrible and hurtful things to and about me simply because of my faith. I’ve watched the demeanor of strangers instantly change after realizing that I am serious about my faith. Their disappointment can be difficult for them to hide. Some people get confused and don’t know what to make of it and that’s fine too. As long as my faith in Jesus is recognized, the reactions don’t really matter much.
You (probably) never know for sure until you have to make a decision, but I’m sure I’d say “yes” if I had to choose between living and denying my faith. I already don’t care much for living in this life anymore. What keeps me going are the people that love me and I them in return. I think about all the good that can be done to change lives for the better while I’m still here. I feel like God has given me something special to influence people around me for the better than I haven’t learned to completely tap into to its full potential yet. I think it would be a shame if I died before I managed to, but I trust that God’s plan can’t be stopped on account of me.
This all the more confirms how real Jesus is to me. How many darwinists would die for the sake of making the statement “everything is random and meaningless”? How could a person consistently believe those things and die for a cause? They can’t. How could a person that touts survival of the fittest justify self-sacrificial love? They can’t.
I want my love for God to be so obvious that I wouldn’t even be given a chance to make the choice I’d obviously make anyway. It would be an honor to die for His name’s sake. I couldn’t think of a more fitting way for my life to end. I just hope that maybe, just maybe, the people that ignore the things I say and do would question their unbelief if they witnessed me facing death and being at peace with it.
If God would use my life and death as some sort of catalyst, it would be worth it. I wonder if those that lose their lives are thinking about that when death is imminent. Are they thinking about going to be with Christ? Are they thinking about their loved ones? Are they thinking about things they wanted to accomplish in this life?
“I will say YES!”
Anxious Hearts 